Aww crap. There's so much things happening this week in my life that I didn't really have enough rest/sleep for consecutive days. Friday I had a 24 hours duty, then came a 5 hours sleep on Saturday, and today was Army Half Marathon 21km. I am so gonna die. At one point of time, I nearly toppled over my legs to find my face on the muddy ground as my knee nearly gave in. I so love to do sports, am I gonna give up something that I love again? Am I?
This week, I came to know that my secondary school friend's story. By the way, his name is Teck Oon. He is a young, nice chap, plainly funny and innocent. He is a fond lover of God. At that time I know about him, he eats Solomon, talks about Solomon, dream about Solomon, all the works of God in Solomon. He is very active in church, etc. Basically, when I was a secondary school boy, he was someone whom I look upon spiritually. However, news just came to my ears that he changed. He began to smoke and start punching holes in his ears. When I came to know about it, I felt a deep sense of sadness in me.
Why did such happen to people like him? This is because people whom are closer to God are people whom are likely targets of the devil. Probably, he faced something more, emotionally, physically, and somehow or another, even people as strong as him gave in to temptation. I really do not wish I will end up like him. But at the rate, probably I will.
It is not easy. This period that I am going through, the steps that I thought I will take, are what many people will do. Hatred. Drink. Smoke. Sin. Club. Worst still, stray away from God. It is not that I want to. Never have I wished to but to be honest, I am at a point, easiest to give in to all these. I am a person that said, "Do not let your emotions lead you." Theoretically, I am not. But practically, I am.
They are paths that are taken by so many. It is a common flow to the wide gate. However, the bible did say that wide is the path to destruction but narrow is the path to life. I know that I know but I cannot do what I know. I have done a few things that led to wide path but as I was doing it, I know that I need to head towards the narrow path but meanwhile at the same time, I am going against God. It feels far worst that what it suppose to. I had to go against the strong current, meanwhile I am seeing myself doing things that goes against the law. It feels as if you are sinning and you do not know, yet the Holy Spirit whom is beside you is seeing it. And He grieves and tears because He witness you sinning. Another example is, you head towards home and one fine day, as you open your door, you see your love one making out without someone other than you. This is how it feels.
So someone please save me from this agony! Help me please...
