Think this is the answer...

With reference to Gary Chapman, the below is what I also believed:

There are 2 stages of love - The Obsessive stage of love (0-2 years). During this obsessive stage of love, we live under the illusionthat the person with whom we are in love is perfect. We have other irrational thoughts such as the Hollywood-kind of saying, "I cannot live without her/him." In this stage of love, differences are minimized or denied. We just know that we are happy, that we have never been happier, and we intend to keep this forever. This stage doesn't require lots of effort. It just comes naturally and that is why people always say, "I think I fell in love with so and so."

It is in this obsessed stage of love that most people get married, and others start living together. The whole relationsip has been effortles. We have been swept along by the heightened emotions of the "in love" obsession. Because of the lack of depth in the relationship, which means relationship not tested at all, many married couples divorce after 5 years and as for unmarried couples break-up, they move on and ended up with other guy/lady in this vicious cycle. You may feel discouraged about this truth but one thing we have to recognised here is that love is a commitment to each another. However, in this stage, there isn't much of a commitment.

The next stage of love is the covenant love. This is very different from passionate love (stage 1). In coventant love, passion must be fed and nurtured. It will not continue to flow simply because we remain in the relationship. The obsessiveness we have had for each other begins to fade, and we recognise that there are other important persuits in life in addition to pursuing each other. The illusions of perfection begins to evaporate.

Every differences begin to appear infront of you. You begin to focus on yourself and realise that your lover is no longer meeting your needs. So you begin to question your love for him/her, whether are you all meant for each another. So you begin to request and demand of the person, and when things turn out to under your expectations, you withdraw, lash out in anger, or initiates a breakout. Your anger or withdrawal pushes your lover further away and makes it more difficult for him/her to express love to you.

Many always think that such tarnished relationship can never be reborn. However the answer is yes. But that is if both couple are willing to persue the understanding of the nature of love and starts to apply the knowledge, to learn how to express love in a language which other person can receive. The couple may be dating or married, but they must move to the next stage (Covenant love) or the relationship will end.

Covenant love is conscious love. It is intentional love. It is a commitment to love no matter what. It requires thought and action. It does not wait for the encouragement of warm emotions but chooses to look out for the interest of the lover because you are committed to the other's well-being. Covenant love requires two factors: knowledge of the nature of love and the will to love.

If you are in a relationship and you are about to enter stage two, reconsider before doing anything foolish because it is not about your welfare but it is also about the other party and others (ie parents, etc) if you had involved them.

Anyway, whether are you in a relationship or not, it is good to learn to speak love and appreciation in a language the other person can receive, not yours please. If the person receives in a way you need to tell him/her, speak out. If the person receives in action, do it. Learning to speak love in a language is the key to enhance all human relationships.

Hope you find this post interesting and applicable to your situation. If you want to know more about it, a book to recommend is "The five love languages (for people in a relationship) or The five love languages for singles (for singles) by Gary Chapman."



Fell asleep infront of the computer while waiting. Before sleeping I was like already sick, so the phalgm was like stucked around my throat. It was really uncomfortable. What was worst is this: As I lay my head on the pillow like how normally a normal person will do, the mucus from my nose start flowing backwards to my throat area. They compounded and thus created a land drowning effect. I could not breathe properly, felt very choky and vommitty. Think I knocked off somehow luckily.

Went church this morning but before going, I will always ask 2 of my friends out - Amos and Yue Hern for breakfast and standard, we will will always eat the same old stuff, Ban Mian dry + Teh Ice. Always loved to sunday school but lost interest somehow for at least a year or so. God brought me back again and I am happy that I did not give up just like that.

These many many months, I really struggled alot, sliding backwards spiritually. However I did not just give up like that. I perservere on to attend church although I didn't really listen. Just one fine day, God told me, "It's time to come back to me."

Likewise, after church, the youths and the young adults will go out for some fellowship lunch. Smiliarly, either KFC or Kopitiam and today was KFC. Afterwhich, I went to my pastor's house for rehearsal. Our church will be organising a carolling on 24th december and I will be involved in a skit, acting as Santa and presenting to the audience signing languages. If you're interested, feel free. Carolling is one of the most memorable events.

Pro Evolution Soccer 2008 is really fun. Very different gameplay and graphics from PES 2007/6. It is very realistic and therefore it is also very hard to play. Nonetheless, I shall give it a 9/10. Training really hard now to get back the form I had in PES 6. So come on, let's challenge!

In about 2 hours' time, I will book in. Now slacking quietly at home waiting for things to happen, lol. My whole family went out to pick up my grandfather who just alighted in Singapore from Malaysia. Cannot wait to see him even though we have certain language barrier. He is really the nicest guy on Earth who loves his sons and daughters, and everything of theirs unconditionally. I seriously desire to be like him one fine day...



Yesterday night went out for a gathering with my friends whom I haven't meet for quite somewhile. Its really nice to see them once again, knowing that they are still the same - One with a mudlip hairstyle while the other still the same old retro-style. The organiser (Mudlip hairstyle) gathered some of us to Timberland for drinks to catch-up but there wasn't any space, so we went to an alternative which was like 1km away.

We went in, bought a drink - Vodka Sprite, and swoop! All gone. Its really too little for a $15 cost. Too many ice cubes and too little liquid. Thus, we ordered more. Didn't know I am such a good drinker. Although after shots, I am still awake but I realised my legs always feel weak after drinking. At first, we agreed to leave at 1am but really did have lots of fun and thus extended till 230am. However, towards the last hour, it was getting abit boring because of tiredness. Reached home about 4am.

Went swimming after a few hours of sleep. The sun wasn't that good today though. Too much cloud till they blocked away the direct sunlight. Nonetheless swam as usual just that it was 20 laps instead of the usual 30 because I really need to rest for the upcoming major exercise - Exercise Giant.

After a long swim, went back home to change and head out for Jurong Point. Dated my mum and my sister for a movie - Hero. Doubt my mum understood much about the movie since its narrated in Japanese, but I think she kinda enjoyed looking at the main actor. Haha. Overall, I would give the movie 3.5/5 inclusive of 0.5 for its moral of the story - "Never Give Up."

The craze now in Singapore is not about which actress is the hottest, not about who and who are together, but about DONUTS. Everywhere has donuts. I brought them to a donut stall and bought 7 of them. They all look tasty, plainly because they're filled with chocolates. The total cost was $7.80, buy 6 get 1 free.

Phew. The day ended with me back at home... Tired but on the whole, it was fruitful.



This year is really a terrible year, trails after trials, temptations after temptations, problems after problems, have passed and move on but there was not any gap of rest in between. I am not strong enough. I am going to break down soon... Its just the matter of time.

BGR problems -> Really good friends -> Friends -> Hatred. Now what? I am feeling so terrible. My family is facing crisis, especially my mum. I love her alot but she is suffering, yet I am unable to do anything. How unfilial.

My freedom gone. My closest gone. My control gone.
Hatred came. Problems came. Failures came.
My life gone.

Hope you enjoy it.

Woke up real early this morning, hence really did not have much to do. Thus, I decided to do some area cleaning with my room. If you know me, you would say that is necessary!

I packed my cupboards, my shelves, my floor, my bed, and then my table. I realised there was so much and so much dust. Its been a long while since I last packed, which I believe its about 3 months ago. Its really alot and it almost killed my nose. Mucus all around, sneezing every 3-5 minutes, till my nose turned red and was about to drop.

Dust is like Problems but of course it cannot be vice versa. A little dust and you attend to it, it will be very easy to handle. However, if you leave it and run away from it due to laziness or etc, it will accumulate by itself, making things harder to handle, tougher to deal. Likewise for problems. At times, when we feel really tough about something, or the problem is too complicated for us to handle, or even if the problem is so minute, we usually choose to escape. However, till the time where things really get out of hand, and we finally realised, its really out of your hands.

I went through my room and I saw this postcard. There was some words written on it as such:

"Remember this?

'In times of difficulties, don't ever say 'God, I have a big problem, but instead, hi problems I have a big God.'

I like this alot. Hope it'll always be with you too."

If you face any problems and I mean any, be it small or big, remind yourself this, and you shall be at peace. God bless.

I have once passed it to you and you passed it back to me during inspiration unveiled. Its now my turn for you to have it.




"Argh! How I wish I could have done this/that?"
"Argh! If only..."

Sounds familiar? What not make ifs come true? Assuming you could see your own future or better still, you could go back to the past and change it, what will you do? Take either case, and do not take both if not its too imba. Will you still allow what is pre-planned for you to be carried out that way? Doubt so eh.

If you really can see your own future, then you have no future because you will sure change your future to something you desire. Humans are selfish. Imagine one day you met a car accident and die and just in time you have a choice to make - to revert back time or not to, what will you choose? In most circumstances I would say that most will choose to revert back time and disturb the time frame, for example you ate chocolate cake->walked street 32->decided to jay walk->death, maybe you will have change the time line by eating cheese cake instead. Ha ha you're so funny, you maybe thinking. But haven't you heard this phrase, "Everything that happens has a cause and effect"?

So what if you survived? At that point of time, one life has to disappear, what if your life was exchanged by someone else, someone very close to you?

For those who are weary, always thinking about your future, your life, you current status, here is a promise from God:

"To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
A time to be born, And a time to die;
A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill, And a time to heal;
A time to break down, And a time to build up;
A time to weep, And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, And a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to gain, And a time to lose;
A time to keep, And a time to throw away;
A time to tear, And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, And a time to speak;
A time to love, And a time to hate;
A time of war, And a time of peace."
(Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)

If you are sick and tired of saying, "What ifs...", stop saying.
If you are a failure in living your own life the way you want it to be, its okay because you are not born to be good at that.
Ifs.

Leave everything to God! Cast your burdens to Him and He will lead your path straight. Since you cannot dictate your own time, why not not dictate and be patient to wait for God's timing which He has already planned just for You and Me.




2 hours ago...

Always put lots of emphasis on relationships.
It is my strength and my weakness.
One by one I have lost.
Too much, I cannot come back anymore.
I have lost.

(Am I dumb, stupid or idiotic?

Even though she doesn't love me anymore
And she had fell in love with other guy
I still stand strong to stay by her.

I am enduring every pain every second
Without letting her know
So that it will not affect her life.

Pray for someone whom caused me pain.
Encourage someone whom broke my heart.
Kept initiating things to show that I am strong.

But actually I am not.
I have lost...

Am I dumb, stupid or idiotic?)

Now...

Hoo. The power of emotions. The above was badly influenced by my negative emotions after listening to a song and certain bad news. But now that I am in peace after going out for a breather, the way I think now is way different.

Emotions are the necessity of life given by God, so that our life is beautify by them and not being monotonous. They can come in many many forms - Happiness, Sadness, Jealousy, Joy, Peace, etc. Each and every one brings across different form of messages and stimulates different way of thinking and actions. For example, when you do something wrong and you know it, you feel guilty. That is how emotions work.

Emotions are very powerful. They can be generated by 3 forms of beings - God, Us and The Devil. Now that I reconsidered what I have typed 2 hours ago, I realised the above were lies caused by the devil. He made used of my weakness, made use of my jealousy, etc to inculcate negative thoughts so that I will look down on myself hence make me more prone to sinning.

Now that I am at peace, this is what I am going to say:

"Always put lots of emphasis on relationships. It is my strength and my weakness. One by one I have lost. Too much, I cannot come back anymore. I have lost. "

Through the grace of God, I can come back. I have lost everything in life but that doesn't matter because God is always there for me. Through Him, I can pick myself up, step by step from ground level, to be led by Him back to the top.

(Am I dumb, stupid or idiotic? Even though she doesn't love me anymore And she had fell in love with other guy I still stand strong to stay by her. I am enduring every pain every second Without letting her know So that it will not affect her life. Pray for someone whom caused me pain. Encourage someone whom broke my heart. Kept initiating things to show that I am strong. But actually I am not. I have lost... Am I dumb, stupid or idiotic?

No I am not. Yes, she may not love me anymore and love someone else, but does it matter? I said I love her and God said love is unconditional. So regardless of what happens, I still love. God commanded, "Love your neighbours as yourself, even your enemies." I may hate her but still I love her. That is agape love.

Yes I know what you are going to think or say. I am foolish, ain't I? But this is what I am going to reply: This is not wishful thoughts for I am obeying what my Father taught me. God is always showing us an ongoing example of such love.

You always sin against God, do you? Does it give God many reasons to hate you? Very much. But what did he chose to do? He forgive and continue to stay by your side, to support you always, to encourage you when you are down, even if you disregard his existence or you forget about Him, He still waits patiently to the day you return to Him. Because He Loves You.

You must be thinking so what does God's example do with us? Till end life, as christians, are we not moving towards Christ likeness or are we moving towards what the world defines how we should present ourselves?

This year is really a bad year for me. Too many unfortunate events happened throughout the year: Denial of 2 years of my life, entering school which I didn't opt for, friend leaving and much much more. These series of events really did cause lots of pain and made me lose all my hope in life. At times, I really regret being a Christian...

God give humanity many of his promises. They sound and look the most perfect when one starts to hear and imagine. But there is a saying, "No Pain No Gain." A Christian life was and is never easy.

I am not born a Christian. My life before I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and personal saviour, I led my life through feelings. The focus was on self. As long as I felt good, that is all it matters. Never did I consider the consequences or how others felt. If you know me, I am a solo-player. After I accepted Christ, things became much different. The Word of God starts flowing through your veins, and everything is about what God says. It is really very contradicting in the way how God wants us to live and the way we choose to live. From that point of time, I began to have many choices and it all classifies under 2 main category, (1) God-directed [Knowing] or (2) World-directed [Feeling].

Now, life is getting even tougher. You have to base your judgements under 2 influences, knowing what is right and feeling right. In most circumstances, people rather choose to feel right than what is right. Easiest to talk, about relationships. Couples come together because they felt right with one another. They began to explore into deeper relationship as one and at the end, ended up as individuals again. So, how do we explain such phenomena? Does not this proves that feeling right is not equavalant to what is right? In short, an advise is to appreciate this reality and decide under peace, knowing what is right and not what felt right.

I find it really amusing (pardon me) always, when people find excuses to defend themselves even when they are in the wrong. Excuses just prove that you have Inferiority Complex. It does not help to correct any bit of what has already happened. The irony is: It is not as if we do not have a choice to decide. Our creator gave us the free will. People know what is not right but they still choose to do and when consequences fall upon them, they wanna push the blame to others.

Just like the story of Adam and Eve:

"And the Lord god commanded the man, 'You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die." (Genesis 2:16-17)

God told Adam specifically not to eat from the tree of knowledge. It was a clear instruction. Moreover, God helped Adam to weigh the consequences. And the consequences are spiritual death, denial to eternity, etc. But what has happened? Both Adam and Eve knows it, say it but did not live it. They "felt" it was okay and thus ate. When God questioned, Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the serpent. So how? Whose fault is it? The Serpent? The serpent only suggested but at the end of the day it was both Adam and Eve's decisions.

The circumstances on me really made me felt like shit. At times, I subdue to it in believing that I am no value to the society because I am such a failure. I have lost many, too much to count. I dare not say I lived my life fully for others but most of the times, I put others first more than I put myself. Sometimes I really regret doing that because others do not do that for me, but still I have to obey what God says...

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:6-7)

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,' declares the Lord" (Jeremiah 29: 11-14)

In Conclusion, for non-christians know what is right and do what is right; avoid doing through feelings. Do not wait till the point where you regret and everything is not under your control. Feelings are irrational. As for christians, always hang on to God. Never turn back even if you feel really uncomfortable. As long as God says this, do this because loving Him is through obedience to Him.

Waking up to find another day
The moon got lost again last night
But now the sun has finally had its say
I guess I feel alright

But it hurts when I think
When I let it sink in
It's all over me
I'm lying here in the dark
I'm watching you sleep, it hurts a lot

& all I know is
You've got to give me everything
Nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me
I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

All I wanted was to know I'm safe
Don't want to lose the love I've found
Remember when you said that you would change
Don't let me downIt's not fair how you are
I can't be complete, can you give me more?
& all I know is
You got to give me everything
& nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

Oh please, you know what I need
Save all your love up for me
We can't escape the love
Give me everything that you have

& all I know isYou got to give me everything
& nothing less cause
You know I give you all of me

I give you everything that I am
I'm handin' over everything that I've got
Cause I wanna have a really true love
Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up
Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring
& I want to make it worth the fight
What have we been doing for all this time?
Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right

(Give you everything)
(Give you all of me)

about you here.

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